


Blood On The Table

by fukindork



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angry Kissing, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Choking, Crying, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dubious Consent, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Slurs, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Roman gets shot but doesn't die, Surgery, There is no smut, Unhealthy Relationships, a lot of crying, depictions of human organs, logan eats human fingers, serial killer Logan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:08:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fukindork/pseuds/fukindork
Summary: Logan is not a mentally stable man, he kills and eats people on a regular basis. He cooks them using techniques that his one and only friend and coworker, Patton, had taught him in order to prepare the human. He knows he's a bad person, but Patton doesn't know about his hobby. Until one fateful night that he makes a mistake and lies to Patton.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 15
Kudos: 79





	1. Strapped Down

**Author's Note:**

> Someone had to make it  
> beta'd by https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queroze

It was nearly midnight at the library that Logan and Patton worked at. Logan was dusting the counter and bookshelves near the front. They had closed over an hour ago and were just finishing up with the cleaning and such. Or Logan was anyway. Patton was falling asleep over a book, sitting in the back. Logan eventually found him and gently woke him up by shaking his shoulder, “Patton, Patton my dear friend you need to wake up so we can leave.” he whispered to him.

Patton groaned as he slowly woke up, “Mmmm… five more minutes…” he mumbled, slowly sliding off of his chair before his brain finally processed that it was falling. He yelped as he finally hit the ground, “Owie…. Oh, Logan, what time is it?” he asked, looking up to his very tall friend. 

Logan held up his arm to look at his watch, “It is exactly 11:57pm and 35 seconds, 36 seconds… 37..” 

“ _Logan_ , thank you.” Patton stopped him because Logan would do that for a _really_ long time if no one distracted him, “Are you finished with your part?” he smiled as he walked over to him. Patton was a little more than a head shorter than Logan, and different in the fact that he was a bit tanner. He also had prominent freckles on his face and his body was just a little rounder in comparison to his friend that was basically a tall rectangle. Logan had much paler skin, as he did not get out much with his…. Hobbies. 

Logan nodded to Patton, looking at the books on the table, “Yes. I have. And I can see that you have gotten an… adequate amount of work done. No matter, you have done your job and I have done mine.” he picked up a large textbook that he had already checked out for himself. A book on human anatomy, “Well if you seem to be finished, then I suppose we shall take our leave then? I have some… things to attend to.” he adjusted his tie a little bit as he began to make his way out the door. 

“You mean your hobbies that you always say are so.. Time sensitive, I think, is the term you used.” Patton grinned as he practically skipped behind Logan.

The taller male pulled out a small ring of keys from the front pocket of his black pants, beginning to lock the doors once Patton was out of the building, “Yes. That would be what I am referring to.” He ended the conversation with that and continued locking the doors, but then Patton noticed something about the keys, they had some strange, dark stains on them. And it wasn’t coffee, he knew what coffee stains on metal looked like and that certainly was not it, “Logan, did you drop your keys in something? I think they have something on them.” he pointed out.

Logan’s neck turned so fast to the keys in the lock that Patton heard a *crack*, “Ah.” Logan’s voice didn’t change at all, no realization, no confusion, **nothing** , “It seems that I forgot to properly clean them last night. I didn’t realize I had left such noticeable stains. Maybe it’s chocolate.”

Logan was _not_ a good liar, and Patton knew that. Those stains were weird and didn’t look like chocolate, and if anyone would know it would be him. He huffed and put his hands on his hips, “Alright. If you say so.” he then crossed his arms and waited for Logan to finish. 

Once Logan was done locking the doors he stood back, allowing Patton to pass to his car before going to his own, “Have a good night Patton.” he nodded as the other passed by.

Patton nodded, “Yes…. good night Logan.” he swallowed. A sneaking suspicion crawled up his back as he watched Logan briskly walk to his car and leave as soon as he could, “Good night…” he repeated once the car was out of the parking lot. He watched as Logan sped out of sight, _just what were his hobbies that he always had to get to after work?_

~~~~~~~

“Shhh, screaming is pointless now.” A monotone voice rumbled above the young man, he placed a towel in his victim’s mouth as a gag to be sure that he wouldn’t speak. The man was in the dark, mostly unseen by his newly conscious victim. But he wanted that, he loved the temporary mystery and terror of the unknown that he knew his victims would feel while he was in the dark. It was so easy to do too, just put a bright light in their face and they could barely even see a shadow of him. 

“Apologies for the mess,” he spoke again, his voice was completely emotionless, coming from a man that stood straight and clean, if not for the blood littering his clothing and skin. A stark contrast to the perfectly clean room, “Usually I would have cleaned myself up before bringing you in, I really can’t stand messes such as these. However, it was necessary to bring you in quickly. I can’t have anyone escaping, now can I?” the man finally turned back to his victim. His glasses shone in the light above the smaller man strapped to the table, some parts of his glasses remained dark, due to the droplets of blood left over from the previous victim. The blood traveled further from his face, down the front of his body and to his right side, drenching his right arm in blood that was not his own.

Logan gently wiped off what seemed to be a scalpel. Wiping away the blood on it as well as the blood drenching his hand, he would get to the rest of his arm later. He finally stepped into the light over to his victim, “Oh the things I could do to you and your pretty face.” he mumbled, his face still not moving from the resting position as he talked.

His victim was very different from the calm, collected, and terrifying man above him. He hadn’t been touched yet other than the bat that had knocked him unconscious before, which left a small, bleeding wound on the side of his head. The blood dripped from it into the mess of purple hair, and terrified tears ran down his face, ruining his dark eye shadow and streaking it all down his face and neck. How sad, the dark shadow looked nice on him.

The blood covered man looked up at his victim’s face, raising an eyebrow, “Oh come now, I haven’t even done anything to you other than strap you down. Ah, and speaking of that.” he stepped to the side to tighten the straps on the other’s wrists and ankles, “Just to make sure you can’t run.” he whispered to him as he pulled back, “Now, why don’t we find your name, yes? I much prefer to call my victims by their names rather than nothing.” he went and rifled through the pockets of the immobile man, first going through the pants pockets and frowning when he didn’t find a wallet or anything. He huffed as he moved to the hoodie pockets, finally finding what he was looking for. He pulled the wallet from the other man’s left pocket and opened it up, looking at the driver’s license, “Virgil. What a unique name,” he noted as he set it down with a few other wallets on a smaller table. 

The victim, that this psychopath now knew as Virgil, sobbed in fear. He had seen the bodies, the bags, even some of the kidnappings, and Logan knew that. Logan had known all along that this man knew what he was doing. He was so close to getting away, and he would have if he hadn’t screamed when he watched the man stab another witness. At this point Virgil wished that he had been killed with that other witness. That’s what Logan assumed anyway.

The killer took out the towel from his victim’s mouth, “Now then, I’m sure you’d like to know-” he was cut off by Virgil screaming out, “Oh shut up, no one can hear you. Unless you count the other bodies.” he scolded, “Besides. When I put you through a great amount of pain you will be screaming more then. So save your screams for later.” he told him as he picked up another tool, which was like the scalpel but, quite a bit bigger. 

“Who are you?!” Virgil cried, “Why are you doing this you sick monster!” he shouted.

The taller man ran a bloody hand through his hair, which he tried to keep as perfectly straight and out of his face as possible, “I am not certain why you would want to know that, as you will be deceased soon enough, but that’s alright then. You’ve been well behaved, as much as a human about to die would be.” he adjusted his glasses, “I will reward you with my name, Logan.” he told him as he put down the large knife and picked up a large pair of thick scissors. 

Virgil whimpered at the sight of the scissors, “What…. What are you doing with those?” he asked, desperately trying to stall the pain and death.

Logan turned around, glaring at the man on the table, “Oh stop that.” he walked over and loomed above the other, blocking the light from Virgil’s face, “I’m not hurting you yet. I do however find it necessary to make the adjustments I require in order to dissect you.” he very slowly brought the scissors to Virgil’s neck, “Hm, you have a long neck, it’s nice, I will keep that in mind for later.”

He then opened the scissors and snipped the collar of the already ripped purple shirt. He cut downwards in a perfectly straight line, occasionally nicking Virgil. Sometimes on accident, others not, he enjoyed the sight of another person’s blood. Clearly a little too much. Listening to the whimpers of pain and fear Virgil produced made Logan feel a titillating sensation that he very much enjoyed.

Logan slowly finished cutting the shirt and moved the fabric of both that and the hoodie out of the way, leaving Virgil’s torso mostly bare to him. Logan slowly let his eyes wander back up to Virgil’s eyes, he dabbed his finger onto a small wound and brought it to his mouth, licking the blood off of his finger. He hummed at the metallic taste that spread over his tongue, “You’ve been so well behaved for me….. Maybe I should let you choose how you die. Hm?” his mouth finally contorted into a sickly grin, “It would be fun, I of course would assume that you would choose quick-” he leaned forward closer to Virgil’s face, “And painless.” he whispered. He barely reacted when Virgil squirmed, clearly turning his head and trying to look away from him, but Logan merely grabbed his face and kept it in place so he could look at him.

He was barely inches from the other, he scanned the face of his victim, seeming to be fixated on his purple and green eyes, “What pretty eyes you have, they would be lovely to have in my collection, I haven’t seen a mutation such as purple for a long while now.” Logan pulled back, seemingly in wonder, “You’re so silent, Virgil, shall I decide your death for you?” 

He watched Virgil squirm, “No no, please! Please stop this! I don’t want to die!” he cried out. 

Logan’s sickly grin returned, “Oh, Virgil hush now. If you really feel that way then I will keep you alive.” he leaned forward again, ‘Just don’t blame me for the pain you’ll feel.” he then pulled away from Virgil completely, “But I’m sure you’re thirsty.” he grabbed the towel and forcefully shoved it into his victim’s mouth, “I’ll get you some water. I want your body in good condition.” 

With that he left the room, leaving Virgil alone strapped to the table. Logan headed to his kitchen and went to reach for a glass. But he stopped, looking down at himself. He was messy, covered in blood, he couldn’t go around touching things like this. Patton had already noticed the keys that he hadn’t cleaned of blood earlier. He stepped back, stepping backwards out of the kitchen, Virgil could wait, he wasn’t exactly going anywhere after all. 

Logan turned around and walked down the hallway to his bathroom. He passed by jars of organs that he had recently taken from other victims, none of the organs were more than 3 weeks old, he would have eaten them by then, he should probably get himself something to eat as well. He walked into his bathroom and turned on the water, undressing himself as he waited for the water to warm. Once it was to his liking he stepped in and watched the water and blood run down his body and flow into the drain.

He continued to silently think as he washed off the blood from his body, he had to scrub his arm just a little bit in order to get some of the drier bits off. He watched as the fresh blood dyed the water pink and flowed into the drain. Why was he like this? Why did he enjoy the sight of blood so much? Logan hardly understood himself, he knew that what he was doing was generally frowned upon and that he was killing good people. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop after 7 years and almost 100 deaths. Why hadn’t the police found him? Why hadn’t Patton found out? Patton was his only friend that asked too many questions and yet somehow, Logan had never slipped it to him. They had known each other for years, nearly 5 was it? Yes, it had been nearly five years since Patton had been hired at the library to help Logan. 

Though Patton had noticed the blood on the keys, and Logan knew that he would either try to figure out what was going on or drop it. But he couldn’t take the chance that Patton would just drop it, he couldn’t. 

Logan watched as the last of the blood went through the drain and turned off the warm water. He stepped out of the shower and looked at himself, he really was pale. Maybe he should get out more, “Patton is correct…. I am rather rectangular….” he mumbled, noticing that he may have had a little muscle to him but it wasn’t nearly as much as Patton had. Patton truly was an anomaly to Logan, he was so strong and had muscle to him, and yet he somehow kept this wonderfully round shape and ate so many sweets. Oh how Logan would just love to dissect him and study just how his body worked the way- 

He stopped, no, Patton was his only friend and he rather liked him. He would like to keep it that way. Logan had control over his actions and he was not going to do that. He cleared his throat and stepped out of the bathroom while drying his hair. He took a few minutes to get his clothes from earlier and clean them of the blood in the sink. Then he went into his bedroom and got himself dressed in a similar outfit, even if he knew it would also be covered in blood by the end of this. But to Logan, impressions were everything. He made sure that everything was straight and perfect. He slicked his hair back out of his face, now he looked much like he did when he left the library that evening. 

Logan made his way back to the kitchen and opened up his fridge, looking around inside it to try to find himself some food. If you can call other humans food. He pulled out a container of oblong objects that he had cooked only a few days ago. Fingers, human fingers from his previous victims. Patton at one point had taught him how to cook chicken wings on the stove and he had used that technique to make these. It was a damn good thing the fingernails came off while cooking, from Logan’s experience, they didn’t taste very good. 

He placed a few of the fingers onto a plate and put the rest of the ones in the container back into the fridge. Logan decided not to heat them up and just eat them cold. He grabbed one and bit into it, it was crispy and crunchy, he hummed for a moment, deciding that he could add some barbecue sauce to them. He set down the plate and opened the fridge, looking through his selection of condiments before picking out the sauce he desired and pouring it into a puddle on the plate to dip his “food” into. 

Logan put away the sauce and was about to go back to Virgil when he realized, “Ah yes of course, I promised I would bring him some water.” he walked over to the cupboard again and did grab a cup this time, he filled it with water and then walked back into his little operating room, “I apologize for the wait, I got a little bit distracted.” he set the plate down on a table next to Virgil and watched as his victim’s eye widened in fear upon the realization that wasn’t normal food. Logan reached over and pulled out the towel from his mouth, “I promised you some water, so open up.” he told him softly. 

Virgil opened his mouth and Logan was careful to pour it into his mouth and not choke him. Only giving him a little bit at a time, but Virgil choked anyway since he was laying down flat. Logan didn’t help, he just watched as his victim desperately coughed up water. He had the towel in his hand ready to clean up the water once he was done. Logan waited until Virgil had his eyes closed and he was breathing like a person, then he gently wiped away the water from Virgil’s skin, “I may be a bad person, but seeing my victims in filth is not something I enjoy.” he said out loud to the other. 

Virgil quivered, “What are you going to do to me?” he asked fearfully. 

Logan looked down at him, “I told you didn’t I?” he stepped back and grabbed the large scalpel that he had been cleaning before, “I’m going to dissect you alive.” he grinned again, his eyes displaying no emotion but he was grinning, almost as though he was faking the smile just to fuck with Virgil. 

“Now where was I?” he asked as he pulled on a single glove to his right hand, it wasn’t for anything in particular, he just liked the effect. Logan walked over and leaned over Virgil, his smile dropping and his face was back into the resting position. He scanned his victim for a moment before reaching over and grabbing the towel, “Alright, open up, this will hurt.” he held the towel to Virgil’s lips. 

Virgil shook his head, pressing his lips together. Logan turned his head to look Virgil in the face, leaning forward closer to him, “Would you like something different to bite down on?” he reached to the plate with his left hand, bringing a finger to Virgil’s face, “I’m trying to be nice. It will be painful when I cut you and you’ll want to bite down on something, so I’m giving you options.”

“What the hell even is that?” Virgil asked, his voice shaky as he scanned the strange, fried thing in front of him.

Logan smiled again, bringing the finger to his mouth and biting into it, he ripped a piece off and chewed, letting Virgil examine it again, “I’m fairly certain that it’s a pinky finger.” he told him after swallowing, “I may eat something of yours once I decide to kill you.” he took another bite of the finger and tore a piece of meat off of it, chewing and swallowing before reaching back for the scalpel, “You know. Human is quite a strange meat. It’s like pork, but a little more savory.” he held the finger out to Virgil again, “Are you certain you don’t want to try it? I quite enjoy the taste. But that’s likely due to the fact that I have been eating it for so long.” 

Virgil stared at him in both disgust and horror, he didn’t have anything to say now. So Logan nudged the towel against his cheek again, “It’s your choice, either take the towel, a finger, or you scream out and have nothing at all. I don’t mind any of those options, but I would much prefer to listen to your screams.” his voice lowered, clearly in wanting for that third option as he had said.

That was what made Virgil open his mouth to allow Logan to place the towel inside, “Good choice.” was all the killer said as he set the finger down back onto the plate. He ran his right hand down Virgil’s torso, he made a small hum of content. Logan reached up with the scalpel and placed it right in the middle of Virgil’s chest, directly between his collar bones. He watched as his victim’s eyes welled with tears again as he watched the knife.

Logan pushed and blood ran from the wound he created, and slowly, he moved downwards, dragging the blade into his skin, not very deep, but it was enough to hurt, a lot. And hurt it did for Virgil, oh so evident by the muffled screams. Logan just kept going, “Oh hush now, I’ve barely gone an inch through your dermis, I need to cut through all the muscle still. I would just cut all the way through right away, but that might kill you and tamper the organs.” While that was true, he enjoyed it much more to hear their screams persist as he felt that sweet sensation of cutting through the human body, it was so easy, “Humans are so fragile.” Logan whispered. 

Unfortunately for Logan, once he was about halfway down Virgil’s body he heard sounds, so he had to stop and put the scalpel down, “I do hope that you aren’t attempting to escape!” he called, he grabbed a gun that was on a table next to the door, stepping out to see a figure in front of the open door to his basement, “Roman.” Logan tapped his foot impatiently, “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

Before he could go on though, Roman spoke up, “Logan please! I’ve been here for weeks! You don’t have to do this to me!” he shouted, tears running down his face.

Logan’s expression didn’t change, “You’re just as vain as ever. I don’t _have_ to do this to anyone. But science is science.” he held up the gun, cocking it.

Roman gasped but only stepped forward, “Logan please! You’re just keeping me in your basement! I want out! Let me go or kill me like the rest of them!” he sobbed.

Logan stepped forward, “Kill you like the rest of them huh?” he aimed the gun at him, “Oh Princey, sad that you just want to be brave and save people when it was all fruitless.” he shook his head and fired the gun, shooting Roman right in the gut. He turned and walked back into the operating room with Virgil, blood now splattered on his face and front half. Roman fell behind him, visible to Virgil in the doorway. 

Virgil squirmed, crying out desperately as Logan put the gun down and walked back over, “Oh shush now Virgil.” he walked over and wiped the tears from his face, he was gentle and not forceful, “He will most likely survive, if he behaves once he wakes up. He’s not even dead yet.” he picked up the scalpel again and listened as Virgil screamed, it sounded like he was begging in some way. Logan merely smirked as he listened to the sweet sounds of screams, finally cutting down to just above Virgil’s belly button and standing back. 

He decided to let Virgil reminisce in the pain for a while. He sat down in a chair with his plate of fingers and just watched the other cry and wail in pain as blood ran down his body into the fabric of his shirt and hoodie. Logan slowly ate his fingers, dipping them in the barbecue sauce and eating them like you would small chicken wings. Though it was still pretty gross considering they were still severed human fingers. 

It took about half an hour of Logan just watching the other crying or staring at the ceiling for him to stand up and walk over again, “Alright, are we ready for more?” he asked with that sickly grin on his face again. He picked up the scalpel and reached over. He noticed Virgil sobbing and sighed, “Hush now, your pretty face is all puffy.” he whispered to him as he brought the scalpel back up to where the cut started on Virgil’s chest, “Now I’m going to cut through your muscles, which will take a few times. Even though you’re not exactly muscular.” he was really just talking to Virgil just to talk, as he often did to his victims

While Logan slowly dragged the scalpel over the incision to deepen it, Roman’s body was dragged out of the doorway. Logan didn’t notice this but Virgil did. He watched as a figure that was also wearing glasses, evident by them shining in the light, stepped through the door and quietly approached Logan from behind. How he didn’t notice was a mystery at this point. 

Just as Logan cut a few more inches deeper into Virgil, one of his own ties was wrapped around his neck and he was pulled back. Logan gagged and was forced to drop the scalpel onto the floor. He attempted to swing the perpetrator off of him but was unsuccessful with that. But he did manage to get the tie that was gagging him off, “Why you-” he turned around to face whoever it was that broke in but was faced with someone familiar, “Patton?” Logan stepped back. He was in shock. How did Patton get here? How did he know where he lived? Patton had never been here before, Logan had made sure of that. Or so he thought, “How did you-” 

He couldn’t finish his question when Patton punched him in the nose, clearly both terrified and sad about the whole situation, “I’m sorry Logan.” he sighed sadly, he forced Logan into a wall harshly.

Logan was knocked unconscious when Patton threw him against the wall, the last thing he saw was Patton talking to Virgil and undoing his clasps to the table. Then everything went black.


	2. Quirks and Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relationship that Patton and Logan had was interesting. Logan seemed to want to protect Patton in a way, from things even outside of his hobby at home. But how did it come to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of this is soft, some of this is not

Today was the day! Patton was being hired at the library to work. It’s supposed to be a temporary job but it does pay pretty well since it’s such a high end library, so who knows how long he’ll work here? He walked in to meet the man that hired him, a man wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket over a shirt that just said “Sleep” in bold letters, holding a cup of starbucks iced coffee. It was about 10am so it was appropriate, Patton supposed. He walked up to the other man, who was about 3 inches taller than him, “Hi! Are you Remy?” he asked.

Remy looked up from his phone and took a sip of his coffee, “Yeah…” he looked Patton up and down, “You must be Patton. Come with me,” he turned around and walked behind the counter and into a back room. There sat a figure that was deep into a thick book on psychology, “You are being trained to be my replacement.” Remy spoke again, “So…. he’s basically your manager for now…. but I’m the one that hired you and is your boss.” he shrugged. He walked over and tapped the other man on the shoulder, “Hey Poindexter, the new guy is here.” he told him before just, leaving. 

The man sighed, closing his book with one hand and setting it down. He adjusted his glasses and stood up, Patton stared as he just kind of… kept going as he stood up. Once he was up straight he adjusted his tie and looked Patton over, “Alright.” he sighed in slight annoyance, “I suppose I will show you the basics. Remille did not inform me of the new employee so I apologize, I would have been more prepared.” He stood a _ full foot _ taller than Patton, who was already slightly taller than average, because he was already 5’7”, he only went up to his shoulder!

“So.” Patton started, looking up at the other, “Since we’ll be working together. What’s your name? I’m Patton.” he held out his hand to the much taller man.

The other man ran a hand through his perfectly in place hair and took Patton’s hand, “Logan.” he said simply, shaking Patton’s hand once before pulling away. He stepped towards the door and looked back to Patton, “Come along. I shall show you now what your basic job is.” he told him as he walked out of the back room. 

Patton grinned, skipping behind Logan. The next hour was spent with Logan showing Patton how checking in and out worked, how to clean everything, and taking around books to put them away. Basic stuff, when Logan finished explaining he went to a cart of books that were already organized, picking up a small stack of them, which was about 3 books, “These books need to be put away in their proper places. If you are aware of how the Dewey Decimal system works. A majority of these go into the nonfiction and they are quite heavy so no need to push yourself-”

Patton easily picked up about 7 of the heavy books, smiling at Logan. He noticed the other man had stopped talking and blinked, “Logan? Is something wrong?” he tilted his head in confusion.

Logan stared at Patton with apparent shock. But after a moment he shook his head, “Are you able to carry those? I cannot even carry 5 of them myself.” he stepped closer, inspecting Patton and tilting his head, “You don’t seem to be struggling at all.” he mumbled.

The shorter man just laughed, “Oh, right. I’m not sure where it comes from. But I’ve always been really strong. I work out on the weekends with a friend of mine, but yeah, I can’t really explain it.” he shrugged. 

Logan seemed amazed and stared at Patton, “You…. but-” he really seemed to be confused and unable to wrap his head around it. He shook his head again to sort of gather his thoughts, his face dropping back to emotionless, “I’ll ask about it more when we are not working.” he stepped back, explaining where the different sections of nonfiction were, “That should be easy enough for you.” 

Patton nodded, “Okay! Should I put away all the books on the cart?” he asked, still grinning at Logan.

Logan turned to him and nodded once, “I will also be doing so, once we are both finished you may go into the back for further instructions.” 

Patton nodded and skipped off with his heavy set of books, he noticed that while he was putting away the books, Logan was watching him. Why was he so interested in him? Maybe it’s because it’s his first day, yeah that’s probably it. Logan just wanted to make sure that he was doing everything right. Patton hoped he was anyway, since Logan hadn’t approached him yet. 

It didn’t take long for Patton to finish off the cart. Logan did help, but he mostly just watched Patton. And he knew that, Patton had noticed that his coworker had done only about 5 books off of the cart when Patton had done a lot more. Not that he minded, this was clearly the easy part of the job.

Once he was finished he approached the empty cart and looked back to try and find Logan. Only to be met with the unbelievably tall figure looming above him and standing at the cart. He was rather intimidating because his face almost never changed from the resting position. Patton just had to wonder about him, though they really hadn’t known each other for long, since they had only met about an hour and a half ago. Logan did have his curious look in his eyes as he scanned Patton, he didn’t mind, but what could Logan be thinking about? 

~~~~~~

It had been 2 months since Logan and Patton met. Patton had noticed a lot of little things about Logan, like that he read a lot of books on humans. Psychology, anatomy, and the like. It was strange to him. Logan had revealed that he had a doctorate in medical school and was currently working on one for psychology, so why was he working at a library? Patton asked a lot of questions, and occasionally he asked too many and he would get The Glare. Those were the times where he would stop talking to Logan for at least 30 minutes. Though it was pretty easy to do now that Logan constantly busied him with work or a book to read.

Today Patton wanted to see if his coworker was free to hang out outside of work. Maybe they could watch a movie together and debate about it. That was another thing that Logan loved to do, debate with others. But Patton loved it, he loved listening to the little debates Logan had with other people. Most of the time they were done just for fun, though on occasion Logan may have gotten a little too heated during some more….. Political debates. To the point where Patton had to pull him away before he killed someone. _ Figuratively of course _ , as Logan would specify. Although they were useful sometimes, it was how Patton figured out Logan liked guys as much as he did after all.

Though it was good that Patton did pull him away, Logan was very tall. So if he stood up to try and win an argument he probably would just because his height can be intimidating. Patton had just pulled Logan away from one of those arguments and were now sitting in the back. 

Patton handed Logan one of his home made ginger snaps that he had brought to the library to feed the other with, but he mostly ate them himself. Logan did take the cookie though, which made Patton smile. Logan didn’t usually take his treats, “Thank you Patton. It is very kind of you to provide sugary sweets for me so often, even if I rarely take any when offered.” he took a small bite of it, there was no reaction from him, but it wasn’t negative. So that was good enough for Patton. 

He grabbed the book Logan had been reading before and set it down in front of him, as well as the paper plate of cookies. He gently pat Logan’s shoulder and walked to the front to help out customers. Patton decided to leave Logan alone while he cleaned things up and helped out with the people. 

Patton had also started a sort of trend in the library where every Wednesday he would go to the kid’s section at 4:30 and read whoever was there a book of some sort. And today happened to be Wednesday at 4:23. So Patton went to the kid’s section and picked out a book, sat down, and waited for all of the children and their parents to come and sit down, he did have signs up of course, how else are people going to know about his reading time? 

After reading to the kids for about half an hour Patton waved goodbye to them and watched as their parents dragged them off to go home. He sighed happily and stood up to go to the back and check on Logan. 

Logan had finished his cookie and was just reading his book now. He was silent and still until he would turn the page. Patton smiled as he watched for only a few seconds. He couldn’t deny that he was attracted to the other man. He liked his height especially, when he occasionally was allowed to hug Logan, he liked that he was able to wrap his arms around Logan’s limber figure and basically lay his head onto his shoulder since he was just tall enough to do so. Logan hardly hugged him back but when he did it was always just a small pat on the back. And that was good enough for Patton. 

“Hey Logan?” Patton asked, sort of studying Logan’s figure now. Noticing how Logan was never hunched over as he read, keeping his already perfectly ironed clothes in the same array. His dark brown hair was a similar story, shaved on the sides and leaving a large section in the middle long that Logan constantly had slicked back. How often did Logan go to the barber? His hair always stayed very short. His face also was very clean and professional, he almost never had any scruff. Patton appreciated that Logan always kept so clean like that, it made him happy. 

Logan then looked up at Patton, peering through his square, black, thick rimmed glasses with his deep blue eyes that hardly ever held any emotion, “Yes Patton?” he asked, arching an eyebrow, clearly awaiting the answer from his coworker. 

Patton took a full second to answer Logan, since he was a bit busy admiring Logan’s angular figure, basically everything about him had some kind of angle and sharpness to it. His jaw made his face a good square shape, and his nose was long and thin, pairing with his high cheekbones and hooded almond eye shape.

He quickly blinked and realized that Logan had answered him, “Ah, Logan I wanted to know if you wanted to possibly visit my house with me tonight after work?” he asked, “I was thinking we could watch a movie… Or bake something together.” he shrugged, desperately hoping that Logan wouldn’t be offended or anything, “Just doing things that isn’t work.” 

Logan closed his book and looked Patton over, evidently thinking about it. After a moment he looked Patton in the face, “Alright, I am willing to visit your household. After work you say?” 

Patton grinned, he nodded excitedly, “Yeah. And since today we close early there will be more time to hang out!” he gave a thumbs up before walking in, taking a cookie, and leaving quickly to get back to work. Patton bounced with excitement as he continued working the rest of the day.

They closed at around 7 that night. Logan cleaned the front of the library while Patton cleaned the back. It wasn’t a very big library so it was easy for the both of them to clean within an hour. Once Patton had finished he went into the back to make sure nothing else needed to be done, grabbed his cookie plate, turned off the lights, and went back to Logan, who was waiting by the front door, “Everything seems to be in order!” he grinned.

Logan nodded, walking out of the library and waiting for Patton to step out before locking the door, “Alright. Shall I bring my own car?” he asked.

Patton nodded, “I might not be awake enough to get you home by the end of the night,” he laughed a little bit.

Logan nodded slowly, “Alright, I suppose I will follow after you as we drive our vehicles to your home.” 

Patton nodded again, walking to his car and getting in. He started up his car and drove out of the parking lot, watching as Logan’s car followed him. It took only about 20 minutes to get to Patton’s small house. Both pulled up to the house, Logan parking before Patton and waiting by his car for a signal from the other to come inside. 

Once parked, Patton ran over and grabbed Logan’s arm, “So what do you want to do?” he asked as he dragged Logan inside, rambling about something or another while he unlocked the door, “What kind of movies do you like?” he asked as he let Logan go once they were inside.

Logan shrugged, “Oh I normally watch documentaries. Most fictional stories have too many inconsistencies and punctures in the plot.” he explained simply.

Patton had to take a moment to understand, “Oh. Okay.” he waved Logan over to his living room and sat on the couch. He patted the cushion beside him, grinning as Logan walked over and sat down, “So then what kind of thing should we watch? I’m sure you can get me interested in anything!” he bounced a little, picking up a remote and flicking through one of his streaming services.

He offered Logan the remote to find something, which the other did take. He found an ocean documentary and clicked on that, letting it play. While watching it, Patton would occasionally ask questions that Logan easily answered. Patton didn’t entirely know if Logan normally watched stuff like this, since he seemed to always be reading things about the human body or mind. Yet Logan obviously had seen this documentary, so maybe Logan just had lots of interests. 

The two of them talked and watched the documentary until it ended. Logan hadn’t moved other than crossing his legs about halfway through the film. Once it was over Patton looked over to Logan, “So how do you feel about me picking a movie?” he asked.

Logan handed him the remote, “Here you go, I hope you don’t mind, but I have a bit of a habit of talking over films, especially if they are fictional.” he explained. 

Patton grinned, “Then I’ll find a movie that we’ve both seen. And we can talk about it.” he found some old disney movie and turned it on. They spent the rest of the night watching and discussing movies, Patton certainly enjoyed it. He couldn’t tell if Logan was as well, but it was nearly 1am now, and Logan surely had to get home. 

“That was fun!” Patton grinned as he turned the tv off, “I guess maybe you should go home now. Maybe next time we can bake some-” he froze, “I-If there is a next time.” he coughed a little.

Logan rolled his eyes, “Patton, I enjoyed this experience. And I am perfectly willing to spend time outside of work with you again.” 

Patton’s eyes lit up, “ _ Really!? _ ” he shouted, running over and bouncing in front of Logan, swallowing his pride for the moment, “Do…. Do you think I could hug you?” he asked softly, his eyes basically star shaped as he looked up at Logan.

Logan looked Patton over and sighed in defeat, “Yes Patton. You may hug me.” he lifted his arms for the other to hug him easier. 

Patton squeaked excitedly and nearly barreled Logan over with a bone crushing hug. Logan gasped in slight pain and the sudden inability to breathe. Patton hugged him tightly, lifting Logan up a little before putting him back down. 

Logan widened his eyes and gently pat Patton’s shoulder, to which Patton set him down, hugging him for only a second longer. But he did feel a small pat on his back from the other just before he let go. He grinned up to Logan, “Thanks.” 

Logan nodded and stepped back, “Try to refrain from constricting me so tightly next time.” he adjusted his tie and glasses, “Although it did feel… cordial.” he opened the door, “I shall see you tomorrow at the library. Have a pleasant night Patton.” he waved once as he stepped out the door and closed it behind him.

Patton watched Logan leave and nearly squealed, he got himself ready for bed and fell asleep thinking about Logan, completely unaware of what the other man was doing in his spare time once he was home.

~~~~~~

3 years after meeting, Logan and Patton had grown to become good friends, Patton adored Logan, he might even say he was totally in love with him. He loved the way Logan looked, acted, and generally just everything about Logan. It may have gotten to the point where it was quite obvious to everyone around him, though he wasn’t sure if Logan knew. 

Today he may or may not have been staring at Logan with a loving expression that was just so obvious to literally everyone but Logan. As apathetic and unknowing of emotions he was, Logan was incredibly intelligent, but he was  _ dense.  _ One would think he’d have at least said something about the way Patton acted by now. Or really even noticed.

Patton was sitting at the front by the computers so he could check out people’s books, luckily almost no one came up to the front while he hopelessly stared at Logan with a lovesick smile on his face. Hearts basically radiating off of him.

Suddenly, a man walked up and set a book in front of Patton, “What are you smiling at?” he asked with a sneer, he was checking out some religious book.

Patton looked over, “Oh, heh, just my coworker.” he rubbed his neck, slightly embarrassed as he took the book and scanned it, “Alright can I have your library card?” he asked.

The man had looked back at Logan and frowned deeper when he looked back to Patton, throwing the card onto the counter, “Try not to get it dirty,” then the man used a very vulgar slur to call Patton, to which a few other customers nearby gasped at. 

Patton blinked in surprise, “O-oh. Well I will certainly do my best.” he scanned the card to check out the book for the man, trying to be quick about it and not show his clear discomfort, that he did ultimately fail at.

“Aw what? Did I hurt your feelings?” the rude man laughed, “Too bad, you’ll just have to deal with it, this whole gay thing will go away eventually. It’s so new that all of you people will die out and the world will go back to being the way it’s supposed to be.” he took the library card and leaned on the counter, “Besides, you’ll probably die of AIDS anyway-” 

That was the moment a shout could be heard from the background, “ **_FALSEHOOD!_ ** ” came the shout and the man immediately stopped talking to turn around. 

Logan walked over, firing rage burning in his eyes, and even though the man was of a tall height, Logan still loomed over him. His eyes practically glowing with rage, “Everything you just said is not only untrue, but incredibly disrespectful to my coworker.” his voice was monotone still, but just teetering on screaming at the other man.

The man was slightly intimidated, but he just smirked, “Oh yeah? Prove it.” he said simply.

That was in fact, a mistake. Because Logan just started running his mouth about all the details about history and such, even going as far as to pull out his notepad and write down a list of history books and hand it to the other man, “If you are going to be, as some would put it, an asshole. Then I would suggest that you take the time to do some research about it before saying anything.” 

The man was absolutely stunned by Logan, but he just took the list and ripped it in half, “Oh come on, you really think I’m going to believe you?” he raised an arm to punch Logan but he just caught it before it could make any contact with him.

“Please. You lot of people are so unnecessarily violent.” Logan shook his head, “I may be trained in some martial arts,” he pinned the fist to the counter, “But I will not waste them on someone like you. I am not going to stand for this type of behavior in a library where there are children around.” he growled. 

He leaned closer to the other man, whispering something to him that Patton couldn’t hear, but he did see the man pale and step away. He grabbed both the book and his card before turning and running out of the library. 

Logan turned to Patton, “Are you alright? I understand that those kinds of insults can be infuriating,” he was sort of trying to comfort Patton, but being the mostly apathetic man he is, he really wasn’t good at it. 

Patton knew he was trying, he nodded, “Yeah….. It happens plenty.” he stood up and took a deep breath, he had never seen Logan get so heated, it was nearly to the point where Patton was about to pull him away, but Logan had solved the ordeal himself. 

Logan stepped behind the counter and into the back room, gesturing for Patton to come in. Patton looked to the other people and they nodded for him to go. So he went into the back to see Logan standing there, “Are you sure you’re alright Patton?” he asked, almost stern.

Patton widened his eyes, “What? Logan I’m…..” he felt a lump in his throat form and tears unintentionally form. He looked away from the other, not wanting to show Logan how he felt, “I’m fine….” his voice broke and he sniffled. 

Logan bit his lip as he watched Patton break down. He sighed heavily and walked over, and hugged him. Actually hugged him. It wasn’t a small pat like he normally hugged the other, and it wasn’t a bear hug like Patton’s was to him most of the time. It was just a gentle pressure. Patton widened his eyes and stood there, held against Logan, frozen in place.

“Studies point out that this amount of pressure is optimal in these situations to give comfort and stability to someone that happens to be in need of it.” he mumbled softly. Patton just laughed as tears ran down his face. He hugged Logan back tightly. He let the tears fall, and he slightly wet Logan’s shirt because of it, but it was on the shoulder so it wouldn’t be that noticeable to anyone else.

Patton cried for a while, otherwise the two of them were silent. Logan pulled away from Patton slightly and Patton let him, raising his hands to his face to try and wipe his tears. 

Logan stopped him by grabbing one of his wrists, “Do not subject your face to whatever has been on your hands, it could make you ill.” he pulled back and grabbed a tissue box and had Patton sit down, he pulled a tissue from the box and wiped his face with it, “Now. Do you feel better after releasing the overload of chemicals?” he asked, of course using pretentious language like the smartass he was. 

But Patton still smiled and nodded, “Yeah…. Yeah I do.” he swallowed the lump in his throat and sniffled, taking another tissue from the box Logan was still holding and wiping his face off some more, “Okay…. I’m okay now. Thank you…” he took a deep breath and let it out, it was still shaky but he did feel better, “You’ve never hugged me like that before.” he laughed softly. 

Logan shrugged, hardly any emotion on his face as usual, “I am aware. But I wanted to make sure you did not…. Repress your feelings, as that would be bad for both your physical and mental health.” he explained, standing back up properly, “I will allow you to go home early for the day, it hasn’t been busy so I can do the cleaning myself after close.”

Patton knew that if he refused Logan wouldn’t let him do anything anyway, so he nodded, “Okay.” he stood up and gathered his things, “Thank you again, you really helped me.”

Logan shook his head, “No need to mention it Patton. Now go home.” he gently pat his shoulder. Patton nodded again and left the library to spend some time to himself

Two days after the ordeal a news report came out, and the man from that day had turned up to be missing. Just disappeared off the face of the earth supposedly. Patton watched in confusion, that was strange, what could have happened?

~~~~~~

Skip to nearly 2 years after that, Patton had gotten suspicious of Logan and his hobbies. He sort of always had been but his suspicions were getting less and less strange and more and more believable. And after seeing the keys, Patton knew he had to do something, he needed to check up on Logan without his permission. There might be a problem at home, and Patton wanted nothing more than Logan to be happy. 

Patton had decided to follow Logan home, he had never actually been to his house, he didn’t even know this area that Logan lived in. Logan had always been very secretive about his home life. Patton knew that this might be a bad idea and he would be completely invading Logan’s privacy, but he needed to know what was going on.

He kept his headlights mostly off as he found where Logan’s house was. Secluded out in the woods, away from everyone, Patton knew that Logan liked his alone time but this was to another level.. Patton parked not too far away and made his way to the house. He looked around, it seemed very clean and nice, patches of grass were greener than others, which was strange. Maybe Logan just didn’t have much of a green thumb. 

Patton approached the house slowly, he looked around and observed. It was a nice place, not very large since Logan had mentioned he lived alone, and an older house to be sure. He walked up to the front door and pressed his ear against it, he heard screams and widened his eyes, was Logan okay? It didn’t really sound like Logan, he should probably help right? 

But then he heard Logan’s voice talking. As he continued to listen he heard another voice and then a gunshot. Logan’s voice spoke again and then the screaming from before started up again. Patton sort of recognized the voice that wasn’t Logan’s but he couldn’t place where he knew it.

Patton stepped away from the door, horrified by the things he was hearing. He grabbed the door knob, ready to need to break it open if necessary. But he found that it was unlocked. He gulped and slowly opened the door, it didn’t make a sound. Logan always hated it when something like this squeaked so it was understandable. 

As he stepped in he noticed that Logan’s house was clean, but then there was a large patch of blood on the carpet, dried of course. And there was a baseball bat with more dried blood. As he looked around more, Patton saw the feet of another person and walked over to inspect them, they were definitely unconscious but at least they were breathing. Blood pooled under the other man signifying a horrid wound

Patton could hear the muffled screaming from the room that the wounded man was in front of. He slowly leaned over the unconscious man, barely leaning in far enough to see inside, once he saw what was going on, he had to keep himself from gasping.

Logan was covered in blood, bent over someone, holding a large knife and slicing into their body, and not only that, the person was  _ alive.  _

Patton stepped back, covering his mouth in fear. Before he could think about anything else, his fight or flight response kicked in. He turned around, moving to the feet of the body on the ground and pulling him out of the way, thinking about what he was gonna do. He then saw one of Logan’s ties on the couch near the door, he grabbed it. He slowly picked up the unconscious man and walked out to his car, grateful that he was as strong as he was. He saw the bullet wound and bit his lip. 

How could Logan do this? He was trying to kill people? He looked over the man and realized that he had seen that he was missing on the news, and he remembered that his name was Roman Green. Patton had seen that he was supposed to be in a play in the local theater. How many other people had Logan kidnapped? 

He brought Roman out to his car as quickly and quietly as he could, gently setting him down in the backseat. Now he had to go back for that other man, he couldn’t just leave him.

Patton walked back inside with the tie in hand, slowly walking to the room where the two of them were. It pained Patton to do this, he really did love Logan, but he knew that he had to. He stepped into the room, a finger to his lips as the victim noticed him. And he didn’t know why Logan didn’t notice, but he held up the tie, and grabbed him by the neck, effectively choking him. 

“I’m sorry Logan…” he whispered. Watching the other stumble out of his grip, but Patton was ready and willing to fight him. Logan didn’t attack him, not yet anyway. But Patton wouldn’t give him the chance to. 

He grabbed Logan and pushed him against a wall as hard as he could. Knocking the other man unconscious. He ran over to the man on the table, undoing the restraints with ease, “It’ll be alright kiddo. I’ll get you out.” he told him, “Can you sit up? I already have the other guy in the back of my car.” he told him softly, he hoped that the other hadn’t lost too much blood, he helped him cover up his wound with the cut shirt, gently talking to the other to distract him from the pain.

The slightly taller man was able to sit up, but he was in a lot of pain, “Okay. Let’s get you to a hospital.” Patton told him, gently picking him up and bringing him to his car. He sat him down in the front seat and drove away as fast as he could. He couldn’t let either of these people die on him, he wouldn’t let that happen, he  _ couldn’t _ let it happen.

What was Patton to do? He should probably call the police, and he planned to, once he was certain that both of the men in his car were safe and at the hospital getting the help they needed.

And he did get them there, making sure that they were okay, he still hadn't called the police. Why didn’t he just do it? Because he loved Logan. But that’s beside the point, Logan was a bad person and needed to be put away for at least attempted murder! 

Patton fought with himself, why was this so hard for him? He ended up not calling the police yet, instead opting to go home. The fact that Logan was doing that to someone was eating away at him, he just wanted to go to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, yes, you can make fanart and such. You just gotta tag me somewhere


	3. Panic and the Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is panicking, he's terrified of what will happen now. He was going to run from the police, why was he going to do that? He had to talk to Patton. He can't lose his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter cause I split it into 2 parts, so the second part will hopefully come sooner than this one did....

This was a horrible idea. Logan knew that to be a fact. Because he was covered in blood that was certainly not his, at 4am, driving away from his house after Patton had left with the only 2 victims that had ever survived his ways.

His breathing was off, he knew that too. Logan was experiencing something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Fear. Fear of going to jail, as anyone did, fear of losing everything he’d worked for, and fear of losing something else. Losing some _ one _ else. Losing- 

Patton. He needed to talk to Patton. Logan turned his car and drove towards Patton’s house, he could hardly think or see, he was practically wheezing and thoughts swirled through his head. He was panicking, he knew that. He realized he was on Patton’s street and screeched to a stop in front of his house, knowing he probably woke someone up. He didn’t care though, parked directly in front of the street light, basically putting him in a sort of spotlight.

He got out of his car, knowing that Patton had probably called the police, or wasn’t even there, why did he come here? Patton was likely with Virgil and Roman at the hospital. He looked back at his car to lock it, but it didn’t even matter. He likely wasn’t coming out of that house a free man. But Logan caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the window. 

His hair was messy, falling onto his face. He was covered in blood, his clothes in complete disarray, tie loose, glasses crooked. He looked insane, like he really was. He stumbled back from his image, genuinely startled by it. He looked horrible. 

_ He looked like the person he truly was. _

Logan turned around, forgetting about his car as he felt his lungs seemingly fail him again. He was panicking more and more. He shoved his keys into his pocket and gripped his shirt as he walked up to Patton’s house, knocking on the door, his left arm stretched out to rest against the door frame. He was hunched over, Logan was shaking. Logan couldn’t breathe. He-

The door opened, to his surprise. He looked up to meet the eyes of Patton, “I-I just want to talk-” the door slammed in his face. Logan leaned against the door, “Patton please!” he called desperately, “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise I would never do that!” he didn’t knock on the door or anything, he was shaking too much to force himself to do so. 

After a few more agonizing seconds. Logan was ready to give up, probably run. He didn’t entirely know what he was going to do. Was he seriously going to run from the police? He didn’t have anywhere to go. No family, the only friend he had was surely calling the police inside. 

Logan pushed himself off the door just before it opened again and Patton grabbed him by the tie to drag him inside.

Logan stumbled inside, stepping past Patton. He was still gasping for air so he hunched over, gripping his shirt. He listened as Patton walked over to be in front of him. He looked up, knowing he looked absolutely insane based on the fact that Patton took a step back. He could see the fear in his eyes but didn’t exactly know what to say to help the situation. 

“Patton.” Logan spoke before he could think, “Look. I know I am….. horrifying to look at, I understand. But you have to listen to me, I would never-”

“When?” Patton asked, just above a whisper. Logan froze, what did Patton mean by that? What- “When was I going to be next?” Patton finally asked, a tear running down his face. 

Logan didn’t know how to answer that. He hadn’t planned on doing it, not since they first met, but he supposed it was a valid question. He took a step closer, Patton took a step back, away from him. 

Logan stopped, not going any further, “You weren’t going to be.” he finally said, “You’re the only person in this world that has taken any kind of liking to me, so I made a promise to myself that I would never hurt you. And I haven’t thought about it, not for a long time.” he figured that was a good explanation, even if it was kind of a lie. It likely wasn’t enough to convince Patton that he wasn’t going to kill him. But he figured it was enough to hopefully have him understand he wouldn’t do what he was doing to Virgil, to his best friend as well.

He watched as Patton looked him over, “Logan what do you expect me to do now? It is four in the morning and I just found out that you were trying to- to  _ kill someone. _ ” more tears ran down his face, “You know that I have to call the police right? I don’t even know how many other people you’ve killed just based on the way your house looks!” 

“Maybe you don’t!” Logan suddenly said, why did he say that? He really should go to jail, but they would execute him really quickly. He couldn’t convince Patton to not call the police! “M-maybe.” he stuttered as his heart rate picked up again. He twisted his tie nervously, “Maybe you could join me! You don't have to do what I do, you can do different things. I know that you enjoy learning about the human mind like I do. You could put them through different situations and see how they react!” Logan was desperate, why was he trying to convince him to do this? Patton had morals, unlike Logan, and he would surely say no.

But then Patton did something Logan didn’t expect. He pushed him back, and looked into his eyes. Forcing Logan to notice that his eyes were a golden brown. He stared at Patton, why was he only noticing this now? Why was he in the middle of trying to convince Patton to join him in killing people while covered in blood, and noticing that his face was covered in little freckles that he could connect and make into infinite constellations…..

Patton pushed him against the wall, not quite hard enough to be harsh, “Logan…. Am… Am I really supposed to say yes to that? I want to be with you Logan, I- God why am I even saying this.” he looked down, taking a deep breath and looked back up to Logan, “Look Logan, I am  _ in love _ with you. I have been for a while now. But what the  **_fuck_ ** ?” The anger was returning to his eyes and Logan was realizing that he had been staring into his eyes for much too long.

Logan gulped, hesitating, “I do not have much of an explanation.” he averted his gaze from the other. Then he felt Patton wrap a hand around his throat and  _ lift _ him from the ground despite already being a foot shorter than him, he was so strong. Logan didn’t know whether or not to appreciate that. Why was he appreciating things about Patton while he was cutting off his airflow? 

Likely because he knew he would likely not see Patton much, if at all, after this. 

“Logan,” he growled, squeezing his neck tighter, “Why would you think that I would join you? You know how I feel about blood,” Why was Patton worried about the blood of all things, did that mean…? Was Patton actually considering it? However, Logan could see that Patton was getting angrier by the second. And he could see the tears welling up behind the round, wire rim glasses Patton always wore, “Those two people were  _ hurt _ because of you. And I don’t even know how many other people-” he stopped as tears began to run down his face, “The missing people…. How-” he looked Logan up and down, his expression turning to one of realization.

Logan could barely breathe, making some noises to definitely indicate that, but they were quiet. He knew the question that would come next, “How many of those missing people were caused by you?” Patton finally asked after a moment, he had seemingly been trying to find the right words to ask such a question through his angry haze. Although, Logan couldn’t even speak with the lack of air, let alone answer him.

Patton moved on anyway, “God I just- ugh! I can’t believe you-! ” he stopped mid sentence, a loud sob wracking through his body. He slightly loosened his grip on the other, even lowering him to the ground, and he cried harder. Logan felt some kind of pang in his chest, and it wasn’t physical, he knew that. Seeing Patton cry like this hurt him. But he couldn’t even do anything because his best and only friend was crying, because of  _ him.  _

Logan wanted to reach out, he wanted to wipe those tears away, he wanted to make sure the light shone in Patton’s eyes again. But he didn’t, he could feel himself slowly losing focus of the situation with the lack of air flowing through his lungs. 

Suddenly he could breathe again, Logan took a greedy gulp of air as Patton mostly let go of his throat, he gasped for air while Patton just stared at him. He just stared back, catching the lost air so his brain would function properly. Patton looked him over, his hand still around Logan’s neck, just not grabbing nearly as hard as he was before, “Logan, I’m going to do something that I probably shouldn’t. And I know that you may not even want it, but this is literally my only opportunity to do so now.” he told him, the tears finally slowing their flow as he leaned in closer to Logan. 

Logan raised an eyebrow in slight confusion, not processing what was happening until it finally clicked. Patton was kissing him, doing that thing where you press your lips against someone else’s. And Logan, well he was enjoying it really. He had never done this before, and he concluded, he very much liked it. 

Patton pulled back from him, hand still around the taller man’s neck where he had brought him down to his level. He looked over Logan’s rather surprised face somberly, “Heh…. to think that I could have done this in a much better way, I’m sorry I had to tell you like this.” he smiled just a little to Logan, even with the blood on his face, Logan knew that Patton was looking at him not as a killer, but as himself. Which probably wasn’t a good thing, “Sorry again…. I really shouldn’t have done that.” he was blushing, and Logan could tell because the redness on Patton’s face was slightly different than the blotchiness from the tears.

“Patton I must know. How do you know you love me?” Logan asked after staring at Patton for a moment, he didn’t understand the warm feeling he had in his stomach.

Patton sighed, “I know because every time I look at you, well, used to, I would see nothing but you. A man that I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with, you made my heart flutter and I would think about you all the time. But….” the grip on Logan’s neck was back, “You ruined that Logan. You ruined everything. I would have rather that I got rejected by you like a normal person instead of finding out about your habit.” the tears were back. Logan could barely breathe due to both the physical and emotional reasons.

Patton’s mood had changed so quickly. Why was that? Logan didn’t think that his friend had any kind of disorder, maybe it was just the fact that he knew that Patton’s emotions were all over the place. It was understandable of course, finding out something so drastic about a loved one’s life.

“Logan. You’re an awful friend, and an awful person. All I wanted to do was love you, maybe get you to love me. But now I have to live with the fact that I hardly knew you at all. That the person I fell in love with doesn’t exist. Why didn’t I see it before? All the signs were there. I’ve known you for long enough that I should have seen it…. I want to reject you, I want to hate you. But I just can’t do it!” Patton’s voice steadily rose in volume and pitch as he spoke. He glared at Logan with such a fury that he felt a spike of fear again, “Why can’t I do it?  _ Why can’t I bring myself to hate you like I hated so many other things?! _ ” Patton was almost screaming now, the tears no longer of sadness or disappointment. But tears of pure, unadulterated anger. 

“Patton-” Logan started, but he was cut off by a quite heated kiss from Patton. It wasn’t the soft and loving kiss he had received before. It was one that was there to shut him up. Logan… decided to accept it as Patton was letting go of his neck and grabbed him by the tie instead. He pulled back and stared at Logan, the tears were gone. 

Nothing but anger resided in his eyes, “Logan I am going to do something I know you have never done before but I don’t care at this point.” Patton told him, pulling Logan away from the wall. Logan would have responded to that but decided that now really wasn’t the best time for this. Then Patton let go of him completely, but only for a second until his hands moved to grab Logan’s face and kiss him again. Much deeper and with more feeling this time. Although none of the rush of emotions Logan was feeling himself or getting from Patton were something similar to love. 

Patton pulled back from the kiss, licking his lips, he grabbed Logan by the tie again, “I hope you know what’s going to happen next. But I’ll stop if you really want me to. Do you?” he asked, still glaring at Logan but he needed to ask.

Oh.  **_OH_ ** . Patton was asking for consent,  _ sexual _ consent. Logan was a bit surprised and was unable to properly say anything, but before he knew it he was nodding to him.

And with that Patton gripped his tie and dragged him off into the bedroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be smut, and it's going to be just that so that people who don't want to read it can skip over it


	4. Can I? Should I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Logan have some fun in the bedroom. Just kidding no they don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally defeated writer's block please enjoy this small chapter before I delve into the rest of this fic

Logan had nearly forgotten why Patton had pinned him to the bed. There were just so many emotions swirling through his head that it felt completely unreal. He had been shoved onto the bed by Patton, who did not look enthusiastic about this at all. Logan thought that if the circumstances were different, maybe he would have been.

Patton’s hands were around his neck again. Right, he was still enraged, it was pretty understandable however, Logan thought. And although his breathing wasn’t being restricted, Patton was still hurting him somewhat, he would certainly have bruises due to the way Patton was squeezing him. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with me doing this?” Patton asked, although his eyes held so much anger, he cared more about Logan than anything else right now. That had to be it. But, something seemed to falter in Patton’s movements, was he really okay? Probably not honestly, it’s been an eventful night

“Patton, I have given you my consent. You do not need to ask again.” Logan had his hand wrapped around Patton’s wrist, gently pulling to get him off. 

Patton finally let go of him in order to undo the knot of the cardigan he wore around his shoulders and let it drop behind him, he took a deep breath. Logan assumed it was to calm himself down, he did not seem to be alright, “Patton.” the taller man called softly.

Patton shook his head, growing visibly irritated again even after just calming down slightly, “I’m fine.” he said coldly, knowing what Logan was going to ask as he unbuttoned his polo, “Just, stay where you are.” 

Logan sighed but decided to follow orders, he watched Patton take off his shirt and Logan finally got a glimpse of what he had been wanting to see for a while. Of course, Patton had an endomorph body type. How had Logan never guessed that? His body had high concentrations of both muscle and fat, that was why he was so strong…

However Logan had gotten distracted because when he started paying attention to what was happening Patton was looking at him expectantly, had he asked a question? 

“Huh?” Logan blinked as he was fully brought back to reality. 

Patton moved closer to him, “I asked if I could take off your tie.”

“Oh… well I suppose.” Logan nodded, normally he would have asked about Patton likely trying to choke him again with his tie but, he trusted him. 

That was a bad idea honestly, trusting Patton while he was figurative putty in his hands. But he didn’t feel like Patton would do such a thing. Even though he had been choking him with just his hands less than five minute prior. When he approached Logan, he could see something in his eyes, was it fear? Guilt? Logan couldn’t quite figure it out but…. Did Patton want this? He certainly seemed to based on his actions, “Patton-” he was cut off by a somewhat heated kiss, it wasn’t as angry as before... but still didn’t seem quite genuine. 

Then it finally clicked, just as Patton was running his hand up his torso, his fingers running over his skin, Logan understood what Patton was feeling. Conflict. Patton was battling with himself to do this.

Logan pushed Patton off, “Look, Patton I-”

Patton looked at Logan and widened his eyes, “Oh god- d-did I do something wrong?!” he interrupted, he was suddenly very concerned for Logan.

“Patton-”

“I-I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have started touching you there without asking! I-” Patton’s determination had faded and he backed off of Logan, becoming increasingly more panicked.

“Patton!” Logan shouted, finally gaining the other man’s attention, “Calm down. I’m not mad at you, nor am I uncomfortable.”

He heard Patton sigh in relief as he fixed his glasses, “Oh thank god, I-I- thought I had triggered something-” 

“Patton.” Logan started, “You are the one that needs to stop. For your own sanity.” he told him rather simply, he sat up again and adjusted himself to be somewhat presentable again, despite the blood, “You are tired, and panicked, it is 5 in the morning. You are attempting to try and have sex with me after discovering who I am, what I do, saving two men that were severely hurt, and then coming back here where I am certain you only panicked and paced more.” he moved to Patton and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, “You are traumatized, you need to rest, you need to  _ process _ the situation that has happened within the last few hours.” he told him, he may be a bad person, but he still had a psycology degree. 

Patton stared at Logan, and the latter could see in his eyes that his mind was finally processing just how  _ fucked up _ today had been after the library closed. He was slowing down, the adrenaline rush was gone. And then Patton’s eyes welled with tears, “Logan….” he whispered. He needed physical comfort, but Logan wasn’t sure if he should be the one to provide that. He was the reason for all of this after all. 

But he ignored that, he leaned forward to hug Patton, just gently wrapping his arms around the shorter man. He expected to be pushed away but was met with Patton squeezing him instead, sobbing into his shoulder, “How could you do this?! How could you be like this?!” he cried. Patton let every word on his mind flow to Logan, anger, sorrow, grief, he was unable to stop himself, and soon it delved into insulting Logan. Although most of the insults were rather childish to Logan, they were like the things middle schoolers would say to you when they didn’t like you. 

And Logan let him, he let him insult him, berate him, say how much he hated him despite holding onto Logan as if he were his lifeline. 

After another hour, Patton finally pulled away, the bags under his eyes much more obvious by now, he didn’t speak to Logan, he just looked down at his lap. He was clearly exhausted. Logan sighed as he looked at him, “Alright. Come on.” he said softly, it was nearly a whisper as he spoke to the vulnerable man that he had hurt. 

Logan helped Patton to lay down, and to no surprise to Logan, Patton fell asleep the moment he was laid down. So Logan gently placed a blanket over him, he gave him one of the many stuffed animals Patton owned, and stood back. 

He felt for his phone on himself. Damn, he had left it at home. 

Logan looked around for a moment before he finally saw Patton’s phone on the nightstand, where he had surely left it before Logan arrived. He debated with himself for a moment of whether or not he needed to do this, if he  _ wanted _ to do this. 

He looked over at the sleeping figure that was Patton, his best friend, his  _ only _ friend. He was hurt emotionally and Logan was the cause, he had lost his only friend. Logan was an evil person. And the both of them knew that. He deserved what was coming to him.

Then, he picked up Patton’s phone and left the room, closing the door as quietly as he could behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a playlist for this! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlCa57H7_KkK2Mhwwe4-XuwgAel9HBTUX this is the youtube link. But it's the same on Spotify with the same name as the fic

**Author's Note:**

> before you ask, yes you can make fanart, videos, that stuff.


End file.
